Going it Alone...

Life seems to move at a staggering pace. I feel as if I am standing on a street, watching as people pass me by. They walk onward, moving forward with their lives together.

I feel alone sometimes. I feel as if there isn't a single person who needs me in their life. Perhaps this is a condition in which I set myself up for. I used to crave attention and I did whatever was necessary to have someone look my way. And even though I have long ago dealt with those demons who are my past, I feel as if a small part of me is now icy-- immune to ever being needed, being desired. Perhaps I fought that needy side of myself to an extent where I am no longer needed at all.

Nine months ago I moved away from everything I knew. I turned my world upside down because I had no choice. I guess a part of me half expected for everything to freeze in place, awaiting my return. It hasn't. Life has continued without me. No one there needs me.

Mother Teresa said, "Even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own."

If the rich are hungry, then I am starving. I crave for someone to think about me when their day gets a little too tough. I wish for someone to need to speak to me to calm their fears, their nerves, or even to get to sleep. More than anything, I want to be a necessary element in someone's life. But I am not.

Instead, I stand watching as people walk by. Some are friends, some are lovers, but all are people who rely on each other to make it through the day. For now, I am an island. Only myself.

Maybe, just maybe, I'll be more.