Whiskers, Tail and Fur... My Best Friend.

I clearly remember the day that I brought Rascal home. Now, that memory is coupled with a vivid memory of watching him pass away.

My loss is surely not the most horrendous suffered by someone. Yet, my loss is deeply invading each thought that I think, each step that I take and every dream I encounter. Rascal, was not just a pet to me. Rascal was the one soul in my life who I could entrust every detail of myself to. I recall many nights, as a sad teenager, where his fur soaked up my tears. I remember lazy summer days where I confided in him all my hopes, my dreams, my fears. It was only my Rascal that truly knew me.

Now that he is gone I feel as if a part of me will never be whole. Everyone keeps telling me that time will help, time will heal. I wonder though, does time only help to heal because it helps you to forget?

If that is the case, I would rather not be healed. How can I forget the way he sat beside my bath water, dragging his tail in the water? How can I forget the softness of his fur, the tickles of his whiskers and the flicks of his tail? I always want to recall exactly how he smelled, how he would chase fireflies at night and the sound of him calling for me when I left the room. I want to remember how he would lay on my feet as I slept or how he would try to steal drinks out of my water glass each night. I don't want to forget anything about the nearly eleven years we had together.

If you would have asked me about two weeks ago how I felt about death, I would tell you that I was scared of it. But now I think I am beginning to understand why older people are ready when their time comes-- They are ready because the mere thought of seeing loved ones again is enough to face any fears they may have.

Losing my Rascal is the greatest pain I have ever encountered. It is hard to imagine waking up to another day without him here. Each morning when I do, the loss floods my mind once again and I recall the moment that he flickered out of this world.

These words can not do justice for how much that animal gave me. He gave me unconditional love. He gave me a companion during hard times. He gave me a loyal friend to guide my path and listen to me bare my soul. And now, I can only hope that he watches over me-- helping me to always remember him, his life and my love for him.

I love you Rascal. Always, Forever. I'll see you soon.